Remnants

His body bathes in sunlight peeking through the curtains. His soft lips on my body. His eyes as blue as the ocean. Getting lost in them was my favorite pastime. Running my fingers through his blonde hair and tracing love letters across his back as he fell asleep.

To dance around a feeling you will never feel again is to suffer. It is the price we pay. Our
memories remain only mine, forever. My mind may lose the images one day. We take our loved ones’ smiles for granted. Years of my life distilled into replaying videos over and over to hear his laugh in the background and sharing stories nobody will truly feel the weight of like I do.

The anticipatory grief I have for these memories grow stronger as each one appears in my mind. Our love is a secret I hold close to my heart. I loved him loudly for a lifetime. I now face it in silence. It is the last bit of this story I have before the rest of my life takes over.

Memories never do love any justice when you lay awake at night wishing you had appreciated those fleeting moments. They are all I have left, and like everything else, they will fade away.